A close friend and I were chatting recently at brunch when she shared with me that she was excited about a job offer she’d just received. Naturally, she was eager to make the right decision. When she mentioned the offer to her mom in passing, and asked if she should negotiate for more, her mom responded firmly: “Absolutely not! You’ll probably lose the opportunity.”
I was horrified by this advice. Although her mom was well-meaning, this mindset—rooted in a fear of losing out—can lead people to settle for far less than they deserve. Negotiating a job offer is not about risking the opportunity; it’s about ensuring your value is recognized from the start.
In that moment, I realized how many of us still carry outdated fears into the negotiation process. If you’re armed with the right knowledge, negotiating is not only acceptable—it’s expected. Here are five big truths to guide you through negotiating your next job offer, so you can walk away knowing you made the most of the opportunity.
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1. The initial offer is rarely the best offer
Let’s face it—companies don’t lead with their top offer. They expect candidates to negotiate. Research from CareerBuilder shows that 56 percent of employees don’t negotiate their salary, often leaving thousands of dollars on the table.
If you’re ready to counter the initial offer, here are some phrases to help you negotiate:
“Thank you for the offer. After reviewing it, I’d like to discuss the salary. Based on industry standards and my experience, I was expecting something closer to [your target number]. Could we explore that?”
“This is a great start, but I’d love to discuss increasing the base salary. Given my background and the scope of the role, I believe there’s room for adjustment.”
“I’m excited about the offer, but I’ve done some research showing that similar positions at other companies offer a higher salary range. Can we revisit the compensation package?”
2. If a promise is ambiguously defined, assume it’s in the employer’s favor
My friend’s offer also included vague promises of “potential bonuses” and “great growth opportunities”—but none of it was clearly spelled out. If something feels ambiguous, don’t assume the best. A study by Harvard Law School shows that ambiguous contract terms often lead to miscommunication and disappointment.
To ensure clarity, use questions like these:
“Can we clarify what you mean by ‘competitive pay’? How is it determined, and how does it evolve over time?”
“Could you provide more details on how the performance bonuses are structured? What metrics will be used to measure eligibility?”
“You mentioned opportunities for growth—could you outline what that path looks like in the first year and what kind of timeline I could expect?”
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3. Your leverage diminishes at acceptance, so advocate hard
Once you accept the job, your leverage in negotiations drops significantly. My friend was worried that if she negotiated too much, it might reflect poorly on her once she started. But here’s the truth: you have the most power before you sign anything. A report from PayScale confirms that post-hire salary adjustments are rare and typically favor the employer.
When negotiating pre-acceptance, here are some ways to push back confidently:
“I’m really excited about this role, but I’d like to revisit the benefits package. Could we discuss options for a more flexible work-from-home arrangement?”
“Before I make a decision, I want to make sure we’ve addressed everything. Is there room to discuss professional development support, like leadership training or certifications?”
“I’m thrilled about this opportunity, but before I accept, I’d like to confirm whether there’s flexibility in the stock options or profit-sharing plan.”
4. Time to consider an offer is always negotiable
At first, my friend felt rushed by the company’s short timeline for accepting the offer, but this is often a strategic move. Employers know that giving you little time means you’re less likely to negotiate (that’s why it’s called an exploding offer!) Normalize taking time to make your decision and don’t be apologetic about it.
If you need more time to evaluate an offer, use these phrases to negotiate for it:
“I’m excited about this opportunity and want to make the best decision for both of us. Would it be possible to extend the deadline by a few days so I can fully evaluate the offer?”
“This is a big decision, and I want to be thorough. Can we schedule a follow-up in a week so I can take the time needed to consider all aspects of the offer?”
“I’d like to take a few more days to review the offer. Can we reconnect on Tuesday?”
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5. Walking away is always a valid option
The hardest truth to swallow? Sometimes, the best negotiation tactic is being willing to walk away. My friend was nervous about pushing back, afraid of losing the offer altogether. But walking away from an offer that doesn’t meet your needs isn’t a failure—it’s a sign of confidence.
When considering walking away, these phrases can help you assert your position:
“I appreciate the offer, but after careful consideration, I’m going to have to decline. The compensation package doesn’t fully reflect the value I bring to this role.”
“While I’m enthusiastic about the company, the offer doesn’t align with my career goals at this time. I’d love to stay in touch for future opportunities.”
“Thank you for the offer, but I believe my expertise warrants a higher salary. If that’s not negotiable, I’ll have to pass for now, though I’d welcome the chance to collaborate in the future.”
Feel the fear and do it anyway
I get it—negotiating can feel scary. Many of us were taught, like my friend’s mom, that pushing back might mean losing opportunities — and heck, even relationships. But these fears are outdated. Today, negotiating is an essential part of the job offer process, and employers expect it. By embracing these five big truths, you’ll be well-prepared to advocate for yourself and secure the job offer you deserve.
Remember, negotiating isn’t about being difficult or greedy—it’s about recognizing your worth and ensuring that the opportunity aligns with your needs, both now and in the future. If you can master that, you’ll not only secure a great offer, you’ll walk into your new role with the confidence to thrive.
Selena Rezvani is a women’s leadership speaker and author of “Quick Confidence,” a Wall Street Journal bestseller, and “Pushback: How Smart Women Ask — And Stand Up — For What They Want,” which is now out in its second edition, fully updated and expanded. Through in-person training and online courses via LinkedIn Learning, Selena teaches professionals how to be fierce self-advocates and carve out leadership paths on their own terms. Follow her on TikTok, Instagram and LinkedIn or find her at www.selenarezvani.com.
Selena Rezvani
Selena Rezvani is a women’s leadership speaker and author of “Quick Confidence,” a Wall Street Journal bestseller, and “Pushback: How Smart Women Ask – And Stand Up – For What They Want.” Through in-person training and online courses via LinkedIn Learning, Selena teaches professionals how to be fierce self-advocates and carve out leadership paths on their own terms. Follow her on TikTok, Instagram and LinkedIn or find her at www.selenarezvani.com.