A new, in-depth report shows the mommy wars are alive and well. The survey conducted by More Magazine shows 90% of respondents saying there’s resentment between stay-at-home and working moms.
“I thought [the mommy wars] had all gone away,” said editor-in-chief of More, Lesley Jane Seymour on Jansing & Co. Tuesday. “Indeed what I found out in talking to my staff, the younger women who are having babies in their 40s, they’re like ‘no, this thing is still going on.’”
Fifty-four percent of working moms say a stay-at-home mom has made them feel bad at least once about working full time, while 47% of stay-at-home moms say the have felt taken advantage of by a working mom.
“It’s the insecurity,” iVillage chief correspondent Kelly Wallace told msnbc’s Chris Jansing. “I’m a working mom. I feel insecure sometimes. I look at the stay-at-home moms and think they’re going to be picking up their daughters from soccer camp today. They’re going to have these moments that I won’t have.”
Working moms told the survey the most annoying things about stay-at-home moms are they can be over-involved in their children’s lives, their sense of superiority for their choice to stay at home, and they revert to acting like they are still in junior high.
Stay-at-home moms told the survey the most annoying things about working moms are they use the excuse they have to work to avoid being involved in their children’s lives, someone else is raising their children and they think stay-at-home moms are lazy.
“I think it’s really difficult regardless of what path you choose,” said Cara Frattasi who recently decided to stay home to raise her two-year-old daughter, Anna. “I also think it’s important to understand it’s not black and white. Just because certain women choose to work at certain points during their kids’ lives doesn’t mean that they won’t be home at another time or spend quality time with them at another time.”
For many working moms, money has a major impact on their decision. More’s survey found 91% of working moms making $75,000 a year or more report their families are dependent on their salaries.
The survey also asked men to weigh in on the debate. They said stay-at-home moms are better mothers by a ratio of 7-to-1. They say they make better role models 2-to-1. And by 6-to-1, men said stay-at-home moms have better behaved children.
“On the flip side too, the men who said looking at working moms, they respected them more,” said Wallace.
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Bryan Weakland