Is a woman safer in the woods with a bear or a man? The answers to that hypothetical question have exploded into a contentious discourse online about women’s safety, their real-life experiences with men and — somehow — the dangers of bears.

The question, which seems to have originated on TikTok, has ignited a raging debate there and across the internet for days now. Many women who take up this question say they’d choose the bear, and that response speaks often to the gender-based violence that women and girls overwhelmingly face. According to statistics from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, a majority of victims of rape, abuse, stalking and murder are women.

Although some men have agreed they’d also prefer to encounter a strange bear in the woods than to encounter a strange man, that answer has also angered some men, who are simply incredulous that anyone would consider a giant wild animal less dangerous than they are. Typical outraged responses have ranged from outright misogyny to listing statistics on bear attacks.

But ultimately, whether anyone (of any gender) would genuinely rather come face-to-face with another human being or a predator animal that may or may not be hungry enough to maul them is a bit beside the point. This “man vs. bear” discourse is not so much about the true threat of bears as it is about the dangers that women experience in the world, where they live among human men.

A lot of people seem to have missed that.

Being unwilling to accept a different point of view in a marginally instructive way, without viewing it as a personal indictment of one’s own character, is one part of the issue. Another is that this debate is largely taking place online, where righteousness can be a performance and nuance is easily flattened.

And as far as that goes, the bears are not privy to this discussion. The men — including those who are up in arms over the whole thing — very much are.